Close the Door

When my husband and I got married I realized that he had a terrible habit. Every time he opened a cabinet or door he would leave it open. At first I thought it was because he planned to come right back to whatever he was doing; but, I quickly realized it was because he’d just forgotten. I can’t even tell you how many arguments we got into about it because things that were left open which should have been closed (cabinets, drawers, closets, etc.) would send me into a tizzy. Now, twelve years later and two children (one of which has her father’s habit) I learned that sometimes you just have to walk away from it.

As I think about this quirk I realize that it’s because I don’t like knowing that things aren’t finished, complete. It’s weird to explain to people but not having closure gives me anxiety. It’s part of the reason that I struggle with not having the last word – because there’s always room to say more or do more. Or is there?

You see, I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes you have to leave a comma at the end of a situation and not a period. It can be painful and tiring but sometimes, trying to continue until that thing is done can be detrimental. Trying to force a reason, ‘why’ or have all of the answers can leave you with wounds that may not heal. And sometimes just walking away without all of the answers can be healing.

When I reflect on my life and things I’ve simply had to walk away from and leave a comma, I realize that God needed to spare me the hurt. When I’ve tried to force an ending, I’ve been hurt. If we take the time to listen to where God wants to close a door or where He wants us to simply pass through and leave it open, we’d save ourselves a world of hurt.

Until next time…

The Cause for Tithing

Eleven years ago my husband and I decided to fully submit our lives to Christ. We made a decision to be baptized and joined our church. One of the first big decisions we made after joining and learning more of God’s word was to start tithing. We went all in, becoming truth tithers of our income and tithing a decent percentage of our time and talent. We both joined various ministries and would spend at least two nights a week at church, as well as Sundays. As we started a family the tithing of our time decreased. I could give you a variety of reasons why but simply put, kids changed the time game. But one thing we did not stop was giving a true tithe of our income.  Let me be clear. It was not an easy decision. Both of us had heard the same story many of you have of churches who received money from their members and there was never a change; however, we could clearly see where the money was going which made it easier. But as we got older we realized that it didn’t matter where the money was going – what mattered was that although we had fallen short of being obedient in other ways, we were being obedient in an area that is often hard for people – money.

You see, we realized that tithing our money is simply about faith. It’s about believing that God can do more with that ten percent than we ever can with the remaining ninety.  It’s about believing that Malachi 3:10 is true. When I look back over the past eleven years of my life, I know that because of our obedience, I was able to get a Master’s degree for almost free; I was able to be off five months with one child and three for another; that we were able to sell our first house and buy a significantly more expensive one and not bring a dime to the table, and so much more. We have not missed a meal, wanted for anything we needed, and gotten a lot of what we wanted. And the peace of mind that we have is almost inexplicable.

Now don’t get me wrong – like all things regarding faith we’ve had our moments. There have been times in the storm that we’ve wondered how we would get it done. But once we settled down and spent some serious quiet time with God, we clearly remembered what He has consistently done in our lives and that we weren’t actually doing any of it in the first place. At this very moment, we are being faced with a significant change to my income. At first, we were angry. Actually, angry is putting it mildly. But as we’ve sat down, and looked at the numbers, it doesn’t make sense. How could it be that we would take such a huge hit by man and it only put a small dent in what we want and none of what we need? It’s simple – BUT GOD. Because we believe in God and His faithfulness – we are going to be just fine.

Folks, this is my testimony. I encourage you to try God so you can have your own. He is the best financial planner I know.

Greater is Coming

Last week in my post Team OMNI I wrote about how I’d been struggling with what God had planned for my life and how although I’d often say ‘Lord, do Your will’ I would often negotiate. Well friends, God has once again shown me that my plans aren’t His plans and that no matter what, His will will be done – in His time.

You see, for quite some time I’ve been praying for a change in my life career-wise. I had expressed my hopes to my husband and to anyone who would listen – but I’d put certain parameters on how and when the change would happen – because you know, I’m in control. However how the change has come about is not at all what I expected. My integrity has been tested, my feelings have been hurt, and I can’t even describe the level of anger and confusion I’ve felt. But despite all of the negativity and drama – there’s been light.

You see, in the midst of all of this I’ve heard testimonies, had people pour into me, and had time to think about how powerful God truly is. And after the wind and the rain settled, God brought three different people who have never met each other bring me the same word from God – greater is coming.

And it’s also reminded me that no matter what – my trust is in Him – not man.

Until next time…

Pushed Too Far

I was chatting with a friend recently about my latest storm and as we swapped stories on our struggles, she told me there was yet another lesson in there somewhere (see my last two posts for the others). It wasn’t until hours later that this most recent lesson hit me right in the face. At many points in our lives we’d both been pushed too far in too many ways. We both knew it was nothing but God that kept us from saying…for me in most instances…something that would’ve absolutely not been of the Lord. I had to laugh out loud several times during our conversation because just before we met up I had to refrain from sending an extremely passive aggressive email – and I knew it was nothing but God and the word that had been poured into me earlier that stopped me.

When I think back on Job in the Old Testament and Jesus being tested in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11) I am reminded that Satan tries on a regular basis to push us too far and entice us to renounce what we know to be the goodness of God and His word. Now let me be clear, I am not at all saying that I have suffered like Job and most certainly not saying that I am Jesus; but, I can say that I have been and lived through my fair share of moments where I have gone over the edge. I have slandered, gossiped, cursed and been down right ugly to my perceived enemies because I felt that they had in some way invaded my mental, physical, emotional and/or spiritual space. For a few moments, days even, I felt justified in my actions. After all, God didn’t give us a spirit of fear (FYI – that’s not what that means…at all). But after I come down from my cloud of foolishness, I’m often ashamed, embarrassed and most definitely repentant by and for my reaction – especially because I openly profess my faith and belief in Jesus Christ to so many people.

I say all of that to say this – being a Christian is not easy. Yes, we have the Bible as our instruction manual but many of us, or maybe it’s just me, use it like we do the instructions that come with products we buy – we try to put it together ourselves and only get the manual out when the pieces don’t fit. Dying to yourself daily, and holding on to and conjuring up the Holy Spirit when someone or something is pushing us can be difficult. But the more of Him and his word that we pour into ourselves and allow others to pour into us, the easier it gets.

Until next time…

Team OMNI

The last few weeks have been INSANE. I won’t go in to detail but let’s just say that I’ve contemplated selling our house, buying an RV, and home schooling the kids while we travel the country. If you know me you know that 1) I love my house and 2) CorlissCorliss ain’t trying to home school anybody, ever – and CorlissCorliss usually wins.

For a variety of reasons I’ve also cried, prayed, cursed, and said on multiple occasions – ‘Lord, whatever Your will, just do it, and give me the courage and strength to accept it’. But when He starts to do His will….I start back pedaling. You know…or maybe you don’t because you’ve arrived….I start to try and negotiate some things. Saying stuff like, ‘Lord…do your will if it means…’ or ‘Have your way Lord but go this way first’. Then I pick up my phone and start texting people for prayers, hoping they’ll pray for what I want and every time, everybody says pretty much the same thing – the Lord has the final say Corliss. Le sigh.

Here’s the deal – no matter how much you try to negotiate, the Lord is going to have His way. And you can text fifty different people looking for your answer – but whatever word and answer He has for you – it will get through. Because He’s God. He sees all, knows all, does all. And He will remind you of that constantly.

I don’t know the plan for my life – I have my wants but God knows my needs. And even though I may try every now and again to negotiate the terms, I know that ultimately He has the final say and it’ll be better than anything I could’ve dreamed of.

And shout out to my peeps who’ve been keeping me encouraged – you know who you are!

Until next time…